Authentic Self Inquiry!
Assessment of your situation is the basis for moving forward. And the honesty you have during this step is critical. There are no rights or wrongs. No judgement. No blame. Nothing but an honest reflection through authentic inquiry.
Authenticity is the state of being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character without any pretence.
It can be hard to be authentic when others are constantly judging you for your beliefs and values. It is also hard to be authentic when you are not feeling like yourself, and you are trying to live up to other people's expectations. It can definitely be hard if you are in a situation that has a lot of stigmas attached...like an addiction.
Assessing where you stand...your come to Jesus moment...needs to be nothing but bare, raw and ruthless authenticity.
This is your moment to be honest with yourself. even if you can't bare to open up to the world or even those closest to you...find the courage to be honest with yourself. Not your ego. Not your masks. Not your image. But your true authentic self. That's where your healing will start!
For someone to feel more authentic, they need to find ways in which they can care for themselves, heal from past wounds, and have supportive relationships with friends and family members.
Self-care is important for everyone, but it's even more important for those in difficult life situations. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can move forward in a healthy way.
Boundaries are also very important to have to be successful in navigating a relationship with someone struggling with addiction. It's about knowing enough about your feelings and when it's time to take a break. Stress has such a debilitating impact on your body.
We need strength to keep going and stay motivated during difficult times. That's why we should always try not to let our relationship with someone struggling with addiction take over us - this will only worsen things.
This all begins with examining what your situation is at this moment in time. For each person in your life that is struggling with addiction, ask yourself:
What is my relationship with this person?
How has the addiction impacted your life?
How long has the addiction been going on?
Is this person in active addiction, recovery, estranged, or have they passed?
What was the basis of our relationship?
Would you consider your relationship to be healthy, co-dependent or overtly troubled?
Do you feel responsible for this person's addiction?
Do you feel guilty that you were not able to stop the addiction?
What emotions do you have?
When was the first time you felt such an emotion? Trace it back as far back as you can remember.
Take a journal or piece of paper and write. Answer your answers to the questions above. Write about your feelings. Your anger. Your resentment. Your shame. Just write and write. Cry. Let everything bubble to the surface. Don't be afraid to sit with the pain. Don't hold back on the emotions you feel. Don't judge yourself. Don't hide. Let everything bubble up. Your fears. Your regrets. Even if they sound ridiculous. Write and write. Take as long as you need. Be kind to yourself through self-care - maybe a bath or a walk in the forest, or a swim in the ocean. Whatever you feel your body and soul need.
And when you have exhausted what you have, you can do it again. Do it as often as you need to feel you have stripped away to your core. You have allowed your emotions to bubble up to the surface. You are not hiding. As you move through your healing journey, you may need to re-assess at certain times. It's amazing how we have suppressed and hidden away our emotions throughout our lifetime. Every nook and cranny of our souls can hide away these emotions. We don't even realize that they are hiding. Listen to your body and your gut. It will tell you when you need to assess again.
Be kind to yourself.