Loving Someone with an Addiction
Do you know what it's like to love an addict? It's the kind of love where you feel like everything is falling apart, and it's not your fault. You're making the best possible choices, but it just feels like they're not good enough. You want to help them, but being around them makes you feel sick. And then there's the part where you don't want to be alone—not because you don't want to be alone, but because being with them is so much worse.
We get it. We've been there before. But we also know that loving an addict isn't a permanent condition—it comes down to choice, and once you choose to be independent, things can change! And they do: when your loved one chooses recovery over their addiction, things get better quickly.
Loving an addict can feel like a full-time job. You're not just loving one person—you're supporting everyone in their life, including the addict themselves.
If you've never been through this, it's hard to understand. You love them and want to help them, but they don't want anything from you and they hide it from everyone else. It's confusing and frustrating—and at times, even dangerous.
To make things easier, here are some tips for helping someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol:
Be patient. Don't expect them to change overnight. They will take small steps toward recovery; don't push them too fast or they might backslide into old habits—and then you'll be right back where we started!
Keep your own life separate from theirs. Do what makes you happy and let them do what makes them happy… but stay out of their way if they need space from you to get their lives straightened out (or vice versa).
I'm not going to lie—it's hard to watch a loved one struggle with addiction.
I don't know if you've ever been in that situation, but it's like a slow death. You know they're not well, but they never seem to want help. They keep pushing you away, even though they know it's killing them. And then when they finally get help, you're left feeling like there's nothing more that can be done for them but wait for their inevitable relapse.
It's hard to see your loved one suffer like this, but it's even harder when you're the one who has to deal with it. It feels like there should be something more you can do than just pray and wait, but there isn't. The only thing left is loving them through it all—and that's exactly what I'm doing now!
Some people just can't get enough of the love.
But what about you? Are you one of them? Might you be addicted to love?
Love is one of the most powerful emotions in our lives, and it can make or break us. But sometimes we get so caught up in the excitement over being loved that we forget that true love is a two-way street. If your partner isn't loving you back with the same intensity, it's time to stop looking for love and start loving yourself. You deserve to be loved with all your quirks and imperfections—and if someone's not willing to do that for you, then they're not worth keeping around anyway!
Sometimes you need to take a step back. Reconnect with yourself. Listen to your body, your intuition. Make the choices that are right for you!
As much as possible, try to keep your distance from toxic people who aren't good for your mental health or emotional well-being. Healthy relationships are built on trust, communication and respect—not on unhealthy habits like lying or cheating! When you're ready to move on from an unhealthy relationship, don't worry: it's never too late!